READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Someone shattered a urinal.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
