How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
