I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
