I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
