I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
