Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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