I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
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