I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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