I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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