I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
