btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize