Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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