The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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