At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
