your thong is hanging out like whoa
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
