all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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