Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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