I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize