i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
