so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
