Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i think my mom watched the whole time
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
