is your mom at the bar?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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