His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
