Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
