Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
