Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
