when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
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