No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
you never un-have a 4some
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize