Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
