it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
