i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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