He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just want to make out with him forever
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize