Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
