exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
