i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I need to align my fucking chakras
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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