He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
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