All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
