i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
