If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i think my mom watched the whole time
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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