mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
