All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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