I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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