my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
