So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
