The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
