Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
