Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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