how can u be prego again
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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