oh god the rape fog is back!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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