thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
