I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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