areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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