remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
