How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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