God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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