You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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