Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
