haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
