My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
