ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
