Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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