yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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