How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
