Even the bartender felt bad for me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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