You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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