if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
