that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Randomize
