Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
